A Conservative Commission Has Been Assembled, and They Agree Only One Thing Can Stop Us From The Liberal Pope Becoming A Mutated Lizard Monster...
Okay, there are a few things that can stop the liberal pope lizard, formerly known as GODziller. This includes a heart healthy diet comprised of bright colored vegetables, a limited 4 hour tv-binge, and up-to-but-no-more-than three Oreos per hour. Those, and the all-new book, "La Cucaracha & Other Tales of Apocalyptic Revelry."
4 out of 5 doctors agree, preordering today will prevent you from having to eat an apple tomorrow! And only three of these doctors smoke Camels, so that's gotta mean something! (technically three is a majority).
Let me ask you this? Would you rather do one load of laundry in a NYC laundromat (without even drying; not even a dryer!) or would you rather preorder a book that will make you smile time and again?
Trust me, you don't want to be left in the cold.
I know what you'd say: "if it's so great, I'll wait until they make a movie out of it and cast Matt Damon, Mr. Smarty pants!" Well to that I'll say this: I'll tell them not to sell you a copy then. When it's popular, It'll be too late. And all the preorder people will be chilling inside with an Irish Coffee, while it'll rain dramatically on your head." And you'll say, "try and stop 'em, this is America" and I'll say, "is it?"
Don't Be Sad Jimmy Stewart...
Be Happy Stewart!
Or to whatever extent, be French Stewart...
Alright, that's all for now folks! Check out the book here, and get your copy in just a few short days! Thanks!